Why is it the Dad is always viewed as the cool guy? So things are going pretty good until I recieve and email stating what he is buying the kids for Christmas and that I can accessories the gifts. I am so tired of being the one struggling to make it and not being able to buy the children the fun stuff. Why am I the one getting punished when I was the parent who has alway been there in good times and bad. I know he is a service member but so am I and I still managed to be there and give the nurturing that the children needed.

I am so trying to just split everything but days like this make me want to get everything the courts usually apply in a divorce. I realize that I would be taking half of his pay on a monthly basis because I know how much money means to him I chose to do without any type of support and split the costs for the kids, whether is sports, school, clothes ect. Now I am rethinking my thoughts and wandering if I am doing the right thing. I just do not want a long drawn out divorce I want to get out and move one once and for all.

I am so tired of this fight and really wish I had stuck to my original plan and waited until after Timothy was born to get married. The good part about not waiting is we now have Tori which I am ever so grateful but the heartache and pain after that wonderful present has been enough. I know it will get better but in the mean time I am just a little angry right now, yes I said it aI am angry right now.