As we go through life we communicate on a daily basis. But do we truly talk to hear ourselves or is this talking making a difference. I have learned the hardway the just because you talk doesn't mean that you are communicating. Recently I had a long conversation with the new Man of my life. From past experience I have learned to be honest and speak to the other person by using words that do not put blame on the other one. As the times passes we all learn more about each other and sometimes this could bother us or we can choose to accept that person for who they are. I have always been a very understanding person and put everyone else before me. This particular situation I decided to be honest and put myself first.
After being away from each other for a few weeks there was some concern on both parties. We sat down and decided to talk about the current situation and what was happening. For the first time every I was completely honest and stated my true feelings and concerns. I feel so much better and this brought the two of us even closer together. I do believe that God works in mysterious ways. I am trying to be more proactive in this relationship and communicate better.
If there is anything to gain from this posting it would be to speak from the heart and use words that come from you without putting blame or having anger to them. Explain your concerns in a manner that shows the future or what may happen if there needs to be a change.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Life Changes
As we mature in our lives we tend to view things differently. I know that after serving in Iraq my viewpoint on life is much different. I try not to worry about things I cannot control and family is so important to me.
I am struggling these days with the seperation and lack of time with my children. It seems everytime I turn around there is some reason in their head to spend less time with me. I am doing much better at not showing my feelings and being so upset but once they go back to their house I fall apart. I am a very strong person but I have to admit that this scares me to death. I am not sure that I can succeed in life without them by my side.
The way I view life now is one day at a time and the planning part of my life has been put on hold simply because with the unknown there is no purpose to plan. I do pray everyday and somedays it seems as if I say a prayer every few hours.
I do know that from now on there will be no rushing into anything and the decisions that I make will be well thought out. Isn't life grand!
I am struggling these days with the seperation and lack of time with my children. It seems everytime I turn around there is some reason in their head to spend less time with me. I am doing much better at not showing my feelings and being so upset but once they go back to their house I fall apart. I am a very strong person but I have to admit that this scares me to death. I am not sure that I can succeed in life without them by my side.
The way I view life now is one day at a time and the planning part of my life has been put on hold simply because with the unknown there is no purpose to plan. I do pray everyday and somedays it seems as if I say a prayer every few hours.
I do know that from now on there will be no rushing into anything and the decisions that I make will be well thought out. Isn't life grand!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
~Dance Like No One's Watching~
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.
After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with, we will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?
Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza.
He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin -real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."
This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way, so, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time... and remember that time waits for no one.
So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy... Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So, Work like you don't need money. Love like you've never been hurt and Dance Like no one's watching.
~Author Unknown~
What a great way to view life. So please enjoy today like there is no tomorrow because you never know when your day has come. I walk through my days now with Christ and I am so happy to be blessed with a great family and wonderful friends.
After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with, we will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?
Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza.
He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin -real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."
This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way, so, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time... and remember that time waits for no one.
So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy... Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So, Work like you don't need money. Love like you've never been hurt and Dance Like no one's watching.
~Author Unknown~
What a great way to view life. So please enjoy today like there is no tomorrow because you never know when your day has come. I walk through my days now with Christ and I am so happy to be blessed with a great family and wonderful friends.
Life Quotes
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something.I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you. I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. (Amen to that!)I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.I've learned that I'm getting more and more like my grandma, and I'm kinda happy about it.I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.I've learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed itI've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological. I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.I've learned that if you don't want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.I've learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them.I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process. I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.I've learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meaning, it loses value when overly used.I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
Author Unk.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something.I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you. I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. (Amen to that!)I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.I've learned that I'm getting more and more like my grandma, and I'm kinda happy about it.I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.I've learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed itI've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological. I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.I've learned that if you don't want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.I've learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them.I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process. I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.I've learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meaning, it loses value when overly used.I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
Author Unk.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
With today being St. Patty's Day we should all be a little green with something. I am green with love today. I forsee a future of happiness in areas where there is a lot of green. Yes, we all go through times of our lives when its seems very dark but the challenge is getting through it with a smile and learning lessons along the way. We are all given challenges but its how we react to those challenges that make the difference. People are able to make a difference in their life along with making a difference in others. Instead of judging looks at it from a different perspective and see if you can help or give encouragement. Sometimes others just need to have someone listen. I know myself that I am bad about this at times.
I sit here humbled because the last 24 hours has been incredibly hard and trying to be honest and listening to what the other person has to say is very hard without jumping to conclusions. If we stop and put ourselves in their shoes then life seems a little different. I do not have the answers but God does and once we realize that he has to be in charge then life becomes normal again. I know that I have a good man and two beautiful children that I adore. These past couple of months have been very hard but it could be much worse so I am grateful for everything that God has given me.
I am blessed to have friends and family that support me and are always there for me no matter what. Life is good and the grass is greener with God.
I sit here humbled because the last 24 hours has been incredibly hard and trying to be honest and listening to what the other person has to say is very hard without jumping to conclusions. If we stop and put ourselves in their shoes then life seems a little different. I do not have the answers but God does and once we realize that he has to be in charge then life becomes normal again. I know that I have a good man and two beautiful children that I adore. These past couple of months have been very hard but it could be much worse so I am grateful for everything that God has given me.
I am blessed to have friends and family that support me and are always there for me no matter what. Life is good and the grass is greener with God.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Dilemas / Decisions
Life is always changing! Do you remember as a child and thinking about what the future may hold? As we grow up our plans change and our thoughts change as well. No one ever grows up thinking they will be divorce and have children who may not live with them. The hardest part is know that one day these children will be place in a situation where they have to make an adult decision without hurting the other person. I am currently dealing with that everyday.
The difference is that I have found a wonderful person through all of this and should have started this process sooner. I wasn't strong enough nor did I think I could do it yet. I did reach some goals and once that was done I made those moves. The problem is that while doing all of this I have hurt my children and put them in a very confusing spot. I love my children with all my heart but feel that I am being played right now. Nothing I do or say means anything to them and I feel like I am grabbing at straws and coming up short.
I just don't know where to turn and I pray all the time but I feel as if there are no anwers right now. A part of me want to just end it all and then the children won't have to make a decision. But that is the wrong way out of this situation and it leaves many questions unanswered. It is also the selfish way out.
I want to be happy but does that mean that I won't have my children? I am I wrong for wanting a life with a wonderful man who truly wants to take care of me and I can say that I am not afraid to have him take care of me. Yes, I have family that supports me but also wants me to move back East but my hearts says that by doing that I am giving in to what I did for 14 years and not living my life.
What do we do in order to get through this time of trials?
The difference is that I have found a wonderful person through all of this and should have started this process sooner. I wasn't strong enough nor did I think I could do it yet. I did reach some goals and once that was done I made those moves. The problem is that while doing all of this I have hurt my children and put them in a very confusing spot. I love my children with all my heart but feel that I am being played right now. Nothing I do or say means anything to them and I feel like I am grabbing at straws and coming up short.
I just don't know where to turn and I pray all the time but I feel as if there are no anwers right now. A part of me want to just end it all and then the children won't have to make a decision. But that is the wrong way out of this situation and it leaves many questions unanswered. It is also the selfish way out.
I want to be happy but does that mean that I won't have my children? I am I wrong for wanting a life with a wonderful man who truly wants to take care of me and I can say that I am not afraid to have him take care of me. Yes, I have family that supports me but also wants me to move back East but my hearts says that by doing that I am giving in to what I did for 14 years and not living my life.
What do we do in order to get through this time of trials?
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