Life is Good!

Life is wonderful especially when you have such a great support group. I feel so blessed these days. I spent a wonderful weekend with my family and church friends. My children were blessed with many open arms and prayers. This has been a very hard transition for both of my children and a little harder on my son who is going through changes as a teenager also.

I have found a wonderful man who want so spend the rest of his life with me and my children. The hardest part is having everyone understand that these changes are for the good. I am grateful that my son got to spend some time with the youth of the Church where my Mom belongs because they have planted the seed and now we just need to continue to pray. My daughter opened up and express what has really been going on. I am so grateful that I have been talking with my Mom and all of these situations because I not only took her advice but I remember how my Mom reacted when I was the child of parents going through a divorce. Being the better person is not always the easiest thing to do especially when you know the other person is doing everything they can to make it harder on you.

I thank God everyday for having two children and ask that he guides me through these times and answers our prayers as well as keep us safe. I also thank God for my true friends who have stood beside me and listened to me gripe or vent when things are really tough and also cry because I am overwhelmed and just do not know what else to do.

Making a Hard Decision

Here it is February and next month will be a year out from when the ex is moving. I had the talk with my kids a few days ago. I feel bad that they need to decide whom to live with but they need to figure out and make their decisions. I explained to them that if they really want to live with their Dad because he is able to provide a better life for them then by all means go with him. I also let them know that what they are experiencing now will not continue once he gets down there and starts working his new job in at the Head Quarters of the Marine Corps. This was a tough talk because I want them with me very much. They are old enough to know that life isn't about money and materialistic things.

I have showed them love, nurturing and have been there when they needed me. I will continue to do all those things but probably from a distance. I want them to stay for the right reasons and not with all the attitudes. I feel deep down inside that it was the right thing to do and will continue to pray that God touches all of us involved to use the right words and really see what each person has to offer.

Weekends!

Why is it that weekend do not seem long enough. Here it is Monday morning and I am already looking forward to Friday. This past weekend was pretty normal but there was a little drama.

Going through a divorce is hard and the children seem to fair the worst at times or is it that they are pushing buttons to see which household will be better in their minds. I have come to realize that money is not the only thing in life that can make you happy. I lived in a situation where we had money and never had to worry about buying things except the aftermath of purchases. After riding home from a soccer game it came very clear that money is what kids look at. I am not in a situation where I can spend money unless it is a necessity for the most part. I am able to spend a little extra but not much.

I am torn at times because I love my children to death but dealing with the moodiness and attitude is making things very hard. I do my best to show my children that I love them very much and try to get thigns they want or need when I have the money. I do not have a house where there are tons of video games nor can I afford to buy things that are expensive. I have games and crafts and tons of love. I truly feel that I have lost the battle of where my children want to live. I do hope that someday they will understand that I love them no matter what and unconditionally. I know that they are going through a tough time and the ex is putting pressure on them to make a decision but I will not do that because I feel it is unfair to them.

I reassure them constantly that I love them and will be there no matter what but have decided to not move anywhere simply because I do not want to be under control of their Dad. He is a nice person but we do not see eye to eye on many things and personally I feel he is using our children to get to me.

This weekend was hard but I got through it with God on my side and I ask him for guidance to make it through the day and weeks ahead.