Life is always changing! Do you remember as a child and thinking about what the future may hold? As we grow up our plans change and our thoughts change as well. No one ever grows up thinking they will be divorce and have children who may not live with them. The hardest part is know that one day these children will be place in a situation where they have to make an adult decision without hurting the other person. I am currently dealing with that everyday.
The difference is that I have found a wonderful person through all of this and should have started this process sooner. I wasn't strong enough nor did I think I could do it yet. I did reach some goals and once that was done I made those moves. The problem is that while doing all of this I have hurt my children and put them in a very confusing spot. I love my children with all my heart but feel that I am being played right now. Nothing I do or say means anything to them and I feel like I am grabbing at straws and coming up short.
I just don't know where to turn and I pray all the time but I feel as if there are no anwers right now. A part of me want to just end it all and then the children won't have to make a decision. But that is the wrong way out of this situation and it leaves many questions unanswered. It is also the selfish way out.
I want to be happy but does that mean that I won't have my children? I am I wrong for wanting a life with a wonderful man who truly wants to take care of me and I can say that I am not afraid to have him take care of me. Yes, I have family that supports me but also wants me to move back East but my hearts says that by doing that I am giving in to what I did for 14 years and not living my life.
What do we do in order to get through this time of trials?
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