Weekends!

Why is it that weekend do not seem long enough. Here it is Monday morning and I am already looking forward to Friday. This past weekend was pretty normal but there was a little drama.

Going through a divorce is hard and the children seem to fair the worst at times or is it that they are pushing buttons to see which household will be better in their minds. I have come to realize that money is not the only thing in life that can make you happy. I lived in a situation where we had money and never had to worry about buying things except the aftermath of purchases. After riding home from a soccer game it came very clear that money is what kids look at. I am not in a situation where I can spend money unless it is a necessity for the most part. I am able to spend a little extra but not much.

I am torn at times because I love my children to death but dealing with the moodiness and attitude is making things very hard. I do my best to show my children that I love them very much and try to get thigns they want or need when I have the money. I do not have a house where there are tons of video games nor can I afford to buy things that are expensive. I have games and crafts and tons of love. I truly feel that I have lost the battle of where my children want to live. I do hope that someday they will understand that I love them no matter what and unconditionally. I know that they are going through a tough time and the ex is putting pressure on them to make a decision but I will not do that because I feel it is unfair to them.

I reassure them constantly that I love them and will be there no matter what but have decided to not move anywhere simply because I do not want to be under control of their Dad. He is a nice person but we do not see eye to eye on many things and personally I feel he is using our children to get to me.

This weekend was hard but I got through it with God on my side and I ask him for guidance to make it through the day and weeks ahead.